To my daughter who is due to give birth to twins any day now:
You have one less hour to be pregnant!
Springing ahead never seemed like such a good idea….
…until now.
Baby Watch Day 10
A friend of mine sent me this picture by photographer Anne Geddes and I couldn’t resist sharing it, in light of yesterday’s post.
I promise I will not put the newborn twins in watermelon rinds.
They aren’t in season yet.
Watermelons, I mean.
I also promise not to use the word watermelon in my next post.
On Baby Watch
The countdown is on.
11 days to go.
My baby is going to bring not one, but two babies into the world.
The “Pregnancy: What to Expect” app is telling me that a baby is as big as a watermelon at 38 weeks.
What my app doesn’t know is that there are two watermelons inside my daughter.
I carried two watermelons around the grocery store today, just to see.
I didn’t like it.
I hope these two watermelons come soon.
On Becoming a Writer
I love to read. I love to read books about reading books. Some of my favorite titles include “How to Read a Book,””Lit!: A Christian Guide to Reading Books” and “25 Books Every Christian Should Read.” This odd bent is spilling over into my writing life. On my “Books to Read” list (you have one, don’t you?) is “How to Write a Sentence,” “Writers on Writing” and “How to Write Great Blog Posts That Engage Readers.” Just kidding on that last one. Although you’re probably thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea for me to download that book. Now.
If I have aspirations of being a real writer someday (whatever that means….I’m really writing this), I need all the help I can get. Learning more about the craft is fascinating — plus, it keeps me from actually having to do it.
When I was eight years old I was horse crazy. I wanted a horse in the worst way. I read books on horses, I subscribed to a horse magazine and I took the horseless horse project in 4-H. I had horse pictures all over my bedroom and a horse mobile hanging from my light. I studied the different breeds of horses and knew all about bridles and saddles. I dreamed of galloping across the fields on my trusty steed. Then I got a horse. As it turned out, I liked learning about horses more than actually owning one.
I don’t want to go down that path again. So, I’m discovering that some days, when I don’t think I have anything to say, I need to pick up the pencil and see what comes anyway. I don’t need a fully formed idea before I get started. I just need to get started and the ideas will develop before my eyes. The process is scary and exciting — a little faith helps.
Today I wrote: “Writing is like the parting of the Red Sea. I pick up my pen and step into the waters of thoughts and feelings, not knowing exactly what will take place. In obedience, I start writing and find a path for my words. The chaos parts and as long as I keep my hand moving across the page, the walls of water allow me to continue. I just need to keep moving, even though it’s dark and hard to see ahead. Someday I may find myself in the Promised Land, after a few trips around the desert, of course.”
Sometimes thoughts appear on the page that I didn’t even know I was thinking. Huh. You should try it.
“Real writers wake up every morning with something to say, even if the words have yet to come.” Jeff Goins
Easy Button
I have an Easy Button on my desk. I push it sometimes just for fun. “That was easy!” People can’t seem to resist the big red disk. Almost everyone who comes into my office gives it a try.
“Easy” is a popular topic. Amazon has 171,584 books with the word “easy” in the title. “Easy Weeknight Dinners”, “Easy Weight Loss”, “Medical Surgical Nursing Made Incredibly Easy”. Wait…what?
The only time Jesus said something was easy He was discussing yokes and burdens. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.
By the end of most days, I qualify as weary and burdened. Rest sounds good. Real good. I’m all for an evening in the recliner (also known as an easy chair), watching TV and drifting off by 9 o’clock. Ok…..8:30.
That’s why the next thing Jesus says is so jarring. Take my yoke. Weren’t we just talking about rest? Isn’t a yoke an implement used in work? I picture two oxen trudging through a field, collared by a heavy wooden bar across their shoulders, pulling a disc that turns over crusty, stony ground. It’s a dirty, sweaty scene — a far cry from my la-z-boy.
Jesus turns the whole idea of rest and work on its head. Resting isn’t the absence of labor — resting is yoking up with Him.
There’s an old Jewish legend that says the carpenter’s shop in Nazareth was known for making exquisite yokes. They were custom made to fit perfectly and finely balanced so as not to be cumbersome. Easy yokes to make light burdens.
Is it time for a trade-in? Your yoke for His?
Little Debbies
I used to love Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls. When I was nine years old I bought a box of them, went into my room, shut the door and ate every last one. After that, I didn’t love them so much. In fact, I never ate one again. Even decades later I have no desire to peel off the outer coating, unroll the cake and lick off the cream filling.
The desert wanderers had begun to turn up their noses at the manna God was providing each morning. Some sat inside their tents reminiscing about the free cucumbers in good ol’ Egypt while others stood outside their tents wailing, “Give us meat to eat!” (Numbers 11:13 NIV) I had to commiserate with the Hebrew children when they yearned to have a morsel of meat. All they wanted was to take a side of beef into their tent, shut the flap and eat the whole darn thing.
God took care of their cravings — He blew in quail from the sea. The birds kept coming and coming until quail meat was three feet deep and spread out as far as the eye could see. Each person gathered about 60 bushels of fresh poultry….the first day. The Lord said, “You are going to eat meat for a whole month. You’re going to eat meat until it’s coming out of your nostrils. You’re going to be so sick of meat that you’ll throw up at the mere mention of it.” (Numbers 11:20 Message) God certainly knows how to make a point.
This episode was not forgotten. The Psalmist was still writing about it hundreds of years later. “They lusted exceedingly in the wilderness and tested God in the desert. And He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their souls.” (Psalm 106:14-15 KJV).
If I get bored with the life He gives me and start craving something else, I’m on dangerous ground. God takes my dissatisfaction personally. If I insist, He will let me gorge myself on the world, but such a feast will ruin my appetite for Him. I don’t want to face my God with Little Debbies coming out of my nostrils and emptiness in my soul.
Dreaming
I’m dreaming of “Goodnight Moon” and “God Gave Us You”.
I’m dreaming of a size 12 month coat hanging on the tree with a diaper bag full of stray Cheerios.
I’m dreaming of a basket full of trains and hammers and animals.
I’m dreaming of a big box of teeny tiny books scattered all over a living room.
I’m dreaming of the curly-swirly softness of one year old hair.
I’m dreaming of holding a dimpled hand in the back seat of a Subaru.
I’m dreaming of playing the tickle-my-wiggly-toes game.
I’m dreaming of watching the snow fall out a front door.
I’m dreaming of a Packer-boy sitting on a carpet reading books.
Sometimes dreams come true.
Blur
I’ve been spending time with Hudson this week. My grandson will be one year old in a few days. He is the joy of my heart and I am soaking up baby love. My plan was to post lots and lots of pictures of Hud Bud and report on all his antics. I came equipped with a computer and a new iphone. Even so, it didn’t happen and there are three reasons why.
First, I couldn’t take my eyes off the child long enough to grab the camera and shoot. Every magical moment was worth capturing, but I was so captured by him that it seemed almost irreverent to break the spell with a camera.
Second, we were without an internet connection for a few days. It was horrible and wonderful. I missed checking the blog, Facebook, email, news — but there was plenty of time to read “Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?” over and over to a giggling boy. There’s no comparison.
Third, I did try to take some pics, but every one of them is a blur. To be sure, that’s a reflection on my poor photography skills. Hudson, however, did not stay put for a second, ever. We’ll both work on it.
There. Those are all my excuses. And now, here is where my heart is.
As I was scrolling through all those blurry photos on my phone, I thought, “How appropriate.” Life is a blur, isn’t it? Wasn’t I just the one passing dreary winter afternoons with little ones who didn’t take long enough naps? Was it that long ago that I was cutting toast up into tiny bite-sized pieces for the child in the high chair? Has it been years since the smell of fresh-washed babies slathered with Baby Magic filled the air?
Thinking back, I remember feeling utterly overwhelmed one Saturday night. PB and I had gotten four children in and out of the tub — scrubbed, rubbed dry and in their jammies. “And now,” I thought, “I have to trim eighty fingernails and toenails.” Eighty! I didn’t know how I could possibly carry the responsibility of eighty fingers and toes to trim and love and kiss and teach. Somehow we made it. We all survived.
Today I prayed for a moment of clarity in the midst of the motion.
I tip-toed into Hudson’s room and watched his little body breath in and out.
Stillness. Rest. That’s how to stop the blur.
Lovin’ Leviticus
I’m serious. I found a way to love Leviticus.
Leviticus is the third book in the Bible. It is wedged between the Exodus drama of the parting of the Red Sea, and the intriguing talking donkey and snake-on-a-stick episodes in Numbers. Leviticus is a tough read with lots of strange rules and regulations. It’s not my favorite book by a long shot. But I wanted to do more than just “gut” my way through it this time. So I found a way to love Leviticus.
After reading the first chapter I prayed, “Thank you, God. Thank you that I don’t have to bring a bull to church, slaughter it and have PB splash the blood onto the altar. Thank you, Jesus, for putting an end to all that death by dying.”
Having completed the chapters about the Burnt Offering, the Grain Offering, the Peace Offering, the Absolution Offering, and the Compensation Offering, I thought, “Whew! Jesus covers it all! What a relief! Thank you!”
Following a riveting three chapters on infectious skin diseases and bodily discharges, I sang, “Halleluia! He cleanses me from all unrighteousness!”
The detailed instructions for the Day of Atonement consisted of at least twenty-five steps for the High Priest to carry out. There was a lot of blood involved. I whispered, “Forgiveness is mine, just for the asking. I’m so thankful.”
I’m loving Leviticus! It’s making me appreciate Jesus more and more.
Wrestling Revisited: Reversal
The main event in Genesis 32 is the wrestling match between Jacob and God. (See last post.) But there is a long back-story involved here. Isn’t that usually the case?
When Jacob swiped his older brother’s birthright and inheritance, Esau was pretty ticked. In fact, he planned to kill his brother — so Jacob made a run for it. The stolen birthright came with a cost — Jacob didn’t see his family for twenty years. Did Jacob spend those two decades looking back over his shoulder, staying alert, bracing for his brother’s wrath to catch up with him?
Then one day Esau was seen on the horizon, approaching with 400 marching men, headed toward Jacob’s camp. What was Jacob to think? It didn’t look like a friendly family reunion in the making. He sent his wives and children out ahead (nice move) along with wagon loads of gifts for his brother (worth a try). Totally alone and stripped of everything he owned and everyone he loved, there was nowhere to run so Jacob finally faced his past and his fears. The struggle lasted all night, but when the sun rose, Jacob had a new name (no longer Deceiver) and a humbler way of walking (a gimpy leg).
I don’t know what Esau had planned to do that day, but I think when he saw his twin brother limping toward him in the distance, he let his hatred go. The Bible says Esau ran to Jacob, embraced him, kissed him and they cried together. Maybe twenty years had mellowed Esau, or perhaps he’d had a wrestling match of his own. What Jacob had dreaded most — the past that haunted him — came and embraced him with mercy and grace. It was a holy reversal.
When I have regrets from the past or fears for the future I must lay them out on the mat and engage God in the struggle. Then, what is looming large on the horizon, may just be the very thing that arrives with surprising mercy and grace.
a small drop of ink 