‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring……
……except for a mouse.
AH!!!! SAY IT ISN’T SO!!!!!
The other day, as I was sweeping out the broom closet, I noticed that a package of little black seeds must have fallen on the floor, right behind the bag of dog food. Alas, a closer look revealed that they were not seeds at all, but…..you know. *shudder* It seems that the old unused dryer vent in that closet lost it’s plug and word got out in the vermin community that just inside the hole was a Christmas dinner of Iams Weight Control nuggets.
You must understand what this does to my psyche. I am not just disgusted by the thought of …..you know….being in my house. I am completely creeped-out and feel intensely violated. I am unable to function normally and get tightness across my chest. I walk about the house with eyes darting into all the dark corners; I open cupboards slowly and make loud coughing noises when I near the closet. This is not just an aversion to…..you know…..it is a flat out phobia. Standing on a chair and screaming is the only proper way to react to such a calamity.
I can’t even watch cute cartoon movies about these revolting critters. “Ratatouille”? A mouse in the kitchen? That’s a horror scene. And even though Fievel Mousekewitz sang a great song in “An American Tail”, he still had a…. tail. *cringe* I know Cinderella was lonely, and I am aware of the fact that Gus and Jaq did free her so she could try on the glass slipper and fall in love with the Handsome Prince, but I would have chucked it all if it meant befriending a …… you know. I could go on. Why in the world are m-i-c-e made out to be loveable and kind-hearted in the movies? *shiver*
I’m just hoping and praying that sometime in the wee hours of this Christmas Eve night, we will hear that wonderous sound and I’m not talking about sleigh bells. My heart will thrill at the SNAP of a peanut butter laden spring loaded trap. Only then will I be able to reclaim my home for the holidays.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!