April (Snow) Showers

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Somebody forgot to tell April that it’s spring.

So I will.

Dear April,

You are supposed to be bringing gentle rain to cleanse the earth of nasty gray snow.

You are supposed to be warming the ground and calling out daffodils.

You are supposed to be giving midwesterners a lift, a spring in their step.

You are not supposed to be blanketing the grass with ice pellets.

You are not supposed to be making us wear turtlenecks and sweatshirts.

You are not supposed to be stealing precious spring days from us.

Shape up, April. We need you.

Sincerely, Me

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Dear You,

Thank you for your reminder.

Let me remind you that it IS spring, whether it feels like it or not.

It IS spring, whether it looks like it or not.

It IS spring, no matter what you are wearing.

As Lilly Pulitzer said, “Despite the forecast, live like it’s spring.”

So shape up. The world needs you.

Warmest Regards, April

“Spring is coming soon. Our words must tell of it. Our mouths must sing of it. Our prayers must ask for it. Our actions must reflect it. Our lives must embrace it.”  From “Hunting Hope” by Nika Maples.

Dear April,

I guess you showed me.  Thank you for your cooperation. (As soon as I posted this, the snow melted.)

Love, Me

10 Things I Learned in March

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1. You CAN go back. For PB’s birthday this month, our daughter arranged dinner out with the “original six”, meaning no spouses or kids were invited. We rode together to the restaurant and there was some faintly familiar banter about who would have to sit in the back seat. At the restaurant, we all took our places at the table in the same seating arrangement as years ago. Only a few things seemed to have changed: 1) nobody teased a sibling to the point of tears and 2) nobody farted and fell off the chair laughing. They are all grown up. It was such a lovely time.

2. There is more than one kind of cheesecake. For PB’s birthday, a good friend took a chunk of pepperjack cheese and cut it to look like a mini birthday cake, candles and all. It was a true one-of-a-kind cheese cake for a one-of-a-kind guy.

3. An early Easter overloads March. We had Daylight Savings Time, St. Patrick’s Day, Palm Sunday, the first day of spring, Good Friday, Easter and the March Madness NCAA basketball tournament all packed into two weeks. Whatever will we do in April?

4. The best way to break a reading fast is to get up at 4:30 a.m. and read the first two chapters in five different books before going to Easter services at church — not unlike pigging out at the Easter buffet after church. Both felt like extravagant indulgences. One made my stomach ache, one made my head ache. But I thoroughly enjoyed them both.

5. Spending a whole month meditating on Jesus’ last week on earth as recorded in the gospels is wonderful and terrible. I wrote two pages of longhand in a college-ruled spiral notebook every morning, getting my heart deep into Passion Week. I can’t go back and read over it now without weeping. “You gave your life, to give me mine. You say that I am free. How can it be?” (“How Can It Be?” by Lauren Daigle)

6. Buzzer beaters are only exciting if it’s a guy from your college team who throws up the shot with no time on the clock and it swishes through the net, sending you to the Sweet 16. Otherwise, it’s devastating. But if it is a guy from your team, you get to shout like crazy and jump around in front of the TV like you’re in the celebration huddle.

7. Best advice of the month: “Pray to catch the bus, then run as fast as you can.”

8. Tulips and daffodils only come up in the spring if bulbs were planted in the fall. But in the fall, I’m not thinking about tulips and daffodils. I’m more interested in pumpkins and chrysanthemums. Every spring I knock myself on the head and say, “Darn. Too late for tulips again this year.”

9. It’s possible to get your Christmas shopping done in March. There was a big sale on a big ticket item and I had a 30% off coupon to boot. I bought a bunch of them and socked them away. Fa-la-la-la-la.

10. I’m not only saved from something (eternal separation from God), I’m also saved for something (for the life of the world). This spring, I’m looking forward to learning what that means with my Bible study friends.

 

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Holy Week Confession

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thornsI’m grateful for Saturday — the day after Good Friday. The intense emotions of Holy Week wear me out and a breather is welcome.

Engaging in the events that marked the last week of Jesus’ life on earth was a struggle for me this year. I didn’t know if I had it in me to walk through the suffering and death of my Jesus yet again. Every year it seems to hurt more. I seriously considered just going through the motions and pushing through the dark days until the relief and rejoicing of the empty tomb on Easter morning.

In other words, I wanted to skip the suffering and go straight to the celebration.

It doesn’t work.

Because going through the motions is exactly how to engage the emotions. As a pastor’s wife, Holy Week services are not optional. I intended to show up, but I planned to keep my heart guarded and not enter in to the agonizing story once more. But showing up was all it took for God to break down my resistance.

On Thursday, I sat in the quiet sanctuary, drew near to the table, tasted the bread, swallowed the juice. I took Him in.

On Friday, I heard the words of Isaiah and Luke, surveyed the wondrous cross, sang, “If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.” He took me in.

Going through the motions is what ushered me straight into His presence.

On this blessed quiet Saturday, I am remembering that the day after the death of Christ is also the day before the glorious life of Christ. But it is the suffering of yesterday that gives weight to the jubilant joy of tomorrow.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”         Psalm 30:5

A Slow Fast

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I’ve finally discovered a way to slow down time.

Fast from something for 40 days.

My, how the days do seem to drag on.

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For Lent this year, I chose to give up reading. At first it was nice to have quite a bit of extra time to do other things. But now I’m getting antsy — longing for the feel of a book in my hands. 

Here’s what I’ve been learning on this slow fast:

1. It’s good to have a chance to be alone with my thoughts. When I grab a book every time I have a few minutes (or hours) I’m continually cramming information into my brain. It all gets squished in there and I can’t differentiate between my thoughts and the notions of the five authors I’m reading. I was pleasantly surprised to find that, given a little space to breath, I do think my own thoughts.

2. There has been a feeling of empowerment with denying myself something I assumed I needed. I can look at my TBR pile of books and say, “You’re not the boss of me.” I can drive by the library and gloat, “You have no hold on me. (Or holds for me.) ” I can click out of Amazon and resist the urge to hit “Buy now with 1-Click”. I can.

3. Limiting my reading to only one book (the Bible) has made that precious time delightfully sweet. My eyes are more eager in the early morning hours to open the pages and soak in the words. I’m paying attention better, staying more engaged and falling in love with the words of life.

4. I am learning that I can do without things and it’s not really that hard. What seemed like a lofty and admirable plan on Ash Wednesday, quickly showed itself to be small potatoes. Coffee, chocolate, Facebook, spending money, reading — those things aren’t as big a deal as we think. We could live without any of it and survive.

5. Reading lots of books had become a source of pride for me. I’ve kept track of every book I’ve read over the last twelve years and adding a title to that list was puffing me up a bit. Or maybe a lot. I don’t know who I thought I was impressing, but I didn’t see it for what it was until now.

6. Now I know what it’s been like for PB all these years when he’s wanted to go to sleep and I’ve kept the light on to read. It’s so annoying. But I’m proud of my hubby – he’s read more than I have in the last month.

7. It’s been confirmed in my mind that TV is a wasteland. Outside of watching a few documentaries and basketball games, my only other go-to activity has been to go to bed. I’ve definitely gotten more sleep than usual.

8. On the scale of what qualifies as true sacrifice, giving up reading is pretty weak. It doesn’t come close to donating a kidney or falling on a grenade to save a fellow soldier. My little experiment pales in comparison with what this Lenten season is really all about. The supreme sacrifice will never be required again – my debt has been paid in full. My eternal future has been secured, not because I gave up reading for forty days, but because my Savior gave Himself up for the love of the world.

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Abba

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When Agnetha, Bjorn, Benny and Anni formed the Swedish rock group ABBA, I doubt if they knew they were using one of the dearest names for God found in the scriptures. I was a teenager in the 70s, so I still love me some “Dancing Queen” and “Waterloo”, but when I hear the word “Abba” my mind associates it with “Father”, not “Fernando”.

The word Abba appears three times in the Bible– it is used twice by Paul and only once by Jesus. It is an intimate term of endearment a child might use when addressing a much-loved father. Some scholars believe it can be translated “Daddy” or “Papa”. I get a little uneasy when people start using familiar names for God such as “Buddy” or “Pops” or “The Big Man Upstairs”. God is certainly our Father, but He’s not a jolly man that lets us crawl on His lap and tug on His beard.  The only time Jesus addressed God as “Abba” was when he was sweating great drops of blood while agonizing over his impending death on a Roman cross.

While many people like to relate to God on more familiar terms, using the name “Abba” actually says more about us than our Heavenly Father. If we want to use the term that conjures up visions of a toddler calling out “daddy”, then we have to realize that we are putting ourselves in the position of complete submission, with the unquestioning trust of a small child.

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We may want to think of God in intimate ways and try to bring Him down to our level, but we can’t say “Abba” unless we are also willing to surrender without crossing our little arms and stomping our little feet.

“Papa, Father, you can—can’t you?—get me out of this. Take this cup away from me. But please, not what I want—what do you want?” Mark 14:36 (Message)

Birthday Boy

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PB was born on a Saturday in March, exactly 59 years ago today.

When news of his arrival reached the extended family, congratulations started pouring in. Among the cards and letters was a note from Auntie Eileen and Uncle Jack.

“Congratulations! Sure glad to hear that it’s over. Must admit we were a little disappointed he wasn’t a girl…”

I suppose that’s what happens when you’re the fourth boy.

But, let me tell you, I sure am thankful he was a boy. What would have become of me if he had been a girl? I shudder to think about it.

So, today I celebrate the birth of my best friend, my partner in life and ministry, and the guy who still makes my heart go pitter-pat.

10 Things I Learned in February

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1. Baking bread in the oven makes the house smell so good.  I haven’t made a loaf of bread from scratch in years. Oh my. It tastes even better than it smells.

2. Giving up reading for Lent hasn’t been that hard. There are plenty of other things to do besides read books. I cleaned out the pantry closet. And watched lots of documentaries on Netflix.

3. I thought a lot about the word “essential”, which means “absolutely necessary, indispensible”. It comes from the word “essence”, which means “the basic, real, and invariable nature of a thing”. I’m asking, “What do I absolutely need to be most real?”

4. Picking out knobs and handles for kitchen cupboards isn’t easy. Picking out knobs and handles for kitchen cupboards that both PB and I agree on is downright hard. We have ordered and returned and ordered and returned lots of hardware. I also learned about something called “restocking fees” — so, no more returning.

5. Sometimes you just have to move on.

6. We went to a wedding where the bride and groom washed each other’s feet during the ceremony. It was very moving, but it would never have worked with PB and me. He goes through the roof when anyone touches his feet.

7. I shouldn’t despise what I have the power to change. That pantry closet has been bothering me for months. I hated opening that door and seeing the chaos. Now I enjoy looking into that space.

8. I thought the concept of “preaching the gospel to yourself” was a new idea conceived by a contemporary, popular pastor in a hip, happening church out on the west coast.  Turns out, Martin Luther (1483 – 1546) came up with that amazing phrase.

9. Sometimes I don’t learn ten things.

10. But then, it was a short month.

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Reading Fast

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I’m not referring to a speed reading technique here. This is not a “how-to-read-a book-a-day” post. No, this is something different. Much different.

I gave up reading for Lent.

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In Lauren Winner’s book, “Girl Meets God”, she was challenged to give up her voracious reading habit during the six weeks of Lent. When I read that I gasped. No way.  I could never do that. Reading is a huge part of my life. I love reading so much. So very much. So so very very much.

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I argued with myself, “Just because Lauren Winner did it, doesn’t mean you have to do it.”

I pouted and whined, “I’m in the middle of a really good book right now. Can I just finished it first?”

I wrung my hands, “How am I ever going to get through all 180 titles on my To Be Read list if I up and quit reading for six weeks?”

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

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One year I gave up sugar for Lent, but I admit that I was hoping for a little kick-back in terms of improved health for myself.  One year I gave up Oprah – a whole hour of TV watching — and never went back.

If Lent is supposed to be a time to consider the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made on my behalf, then I need to give up something that makes me gasp at the thought.

For me, it’s books.

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Over the past week and a half, some interesting things have happened.  A good friend handed me a book she had just finished and said, “You are going to love this. All the time I was reading it, I thought – this is a Dinah book.” Then, my public library sent me an email– a title I had requested months ago was finally in and waiting for me. I talked to the librarian to see if I could keep it longer than four weeks. But, no. I told her, “I gave up reading for Lent.”  She gasped.

Then, another sweet friend gave me an unexpected gift – these magnetic page clips.

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That spell R-E-A-D.

I have banned all books but one – The Good Book. I have my bookmark securely placed at chapter 24 of the story I’ll pick back up on Easter Sunday. I’ll put my name on the waiting list at the library once more. Fasting from books for a few weeks isn’t that great of a sacrifice. I will survive. Gasp.

Ruby Tuesday

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It’s Tuesday, and Ruby came to visit.

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She, with her deep-sea blue eyes,

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her wispy strawberry blond eyelashes,

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and her soft-as-silk red hair.

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She came to steal my heart.

It’s been a delightful Ruby Tuesday.

With Us

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god with us

I used to know all the common prepositions by heart.

About, above, across, after, against, along, among — and 28 more. Memorizing that list helped in picking out the prepositional phrases when diagramming sentences, which was important because…… Why was that important?

The one thing that did stick with me from Freshman English was to never, ever, over-your-dead-body, end a sentence with a word from “the list”. The horror of leaving a preposition hanging there, right before a period, struck a fear into me that still exists today. No matter how much I want to write, “Who were you talking to?” I force myself to be proper and write, “To whom were you talking?” Sounds a bit formal, though, for this midwestern girl.

My favorite preposition is at the bottom of the list.  

…….over, since, through, to, toward, under, with.  

With.

What a lovely word.

When God picked out a name for His Son, it was Emmanuel —

God with us. (Isaiah 7:14)

I am grateful for that choice of names.

It’s so much better than

God above us, God behind us, God beyond us, God over us.

I love the “with-ness” of God.

“God With Us” by All Sons and Daughters

There are lots of great prepositions in this song (none dangling).